The only thing more blatant in the Telephone music video than the designer clothing was the product placement. I’m not talking oh, there’s a glance of a Coke can; this is one of the most blatant product branding I’ve seen since Snapple bought off Seinfeld in the 90s.

While one can expect that Gaga’s own products will be featured, the video surprisingly took us to products we never would have associated her with; take Wonderbread for example. It’s rather clever; by expressing her Fame Monster vision she is gaining cred by selling out.

Within the Gaga Video Epics, we are ramped up to soak in the products. While Paparazzi, has only “Dior” letter rings at 2:04, Bad Romance is where the true brand assault begins;

0:13 – Parrot Bluetooth
0:17 – Nemiroff vodka
0:43 – Heartbeats earphones
1:13 – Heartbeats earphones
1:24 – Heartbeats earphones
2:27 – Nemiroff vodka
2:45 – HP Envy ‘Beats Limited Editon’ laptop from Monster
3:46 – Carrera sunglasses
3:58 – Carrera sunglasses

Bad Romance is a training session; we have fewer products for digestion and they are repeated, often from one scene to the very next. The audience is being trained to look for the headphones, vodka and even the sunglasses; and though this video is the shortest of the group at 5:08 and has a high concentration of product, we aren’t bothered because the products fit within the scenes of the video.

In Telephone Gaga’s own products don’t even run the show.  Only 3 out of 11 products (roughly 27%) in the near 10 minute video are products she is affiliated with; those being Heartbeats by Dr. Dre, a Heartbeats HP laptop and Polaroid (Gaga is the current creative director).

Take a look at the time placement of each products; they are spaced no more than 2 minutes [or less] between each other. This allows the consumer to identify only with the product shown, and gives time to process that product before introducing the next one.

1:34 – Heartbeats earphones
2:06 – Virgin Mobile
2:17 – Diet Coke
4:15 – Virgin Mobile
4:24 – HP Envy ‘Beats Limited Editon’ laptop from Monster
4:28 – Plenty Of Fish dating site
4:44 – Chevrolet
5:37 – Polaroid
6:24 – Wonderbread
6:36 – Miracle Whip
8:31 – Polaroid

Notice how we have been conditioned to see the placement, and eventually accept that Miracle Whip works in a Lady Gaga pop music video.  The beauty of Gaga’s Redic Factor is we’re expecting the visuals to make no sense, and therefore do make sense to the viewing public.

This could quite possibly be the most entertaining brain drain humans have ever been exposed to.